in the taxi'. I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Doctor. Glasgow
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Doctor. Bath
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband
had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later,
I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Doctor, London Hosp.
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was
having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one ?'. . .. I asked. 'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm
running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered
what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Doctor, Norfolk
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have
you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .'Why,
not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'
Submitted by Doctor Kent
6. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into
a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for an immediate operation... When she was completely
disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by Staff Nurse RN London
Sunday 20 November 2011
Funny Medical Stories
Sunday 13 November 2011
Men are like .........
1. Men are like Laxatives
They irritate the crap out of you.
2
Men are like. Bananas
The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.
Men are like Weather
Nothing can be done to change them.
4.
Men are like Blenders
You need One, but you're not quite sure why..
5.
Men are like Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.
You can't believe a word they say.
7.
Men are like Department Stores
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.
Men are like Government Bonds
.... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9.
Men are like Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.
Men are like Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.
Men are like Snowstorms
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13..
Men are like Parking Spots
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Saturday 12 November 2011
EU Cheese Please?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)