How guys amuse themselves in supermarkets

 Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
 boyfriend along shopping

 This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
 Oxford :

 Dear Mrs. Murray,

 Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use
 of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is
 considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless
 your husband stops his antics.

 Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified
 by our surveillance cameras:

 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
 trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
 feminine products aisle.

 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
 told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
 Calor gas stove.

 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
 he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

 8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
 mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

 9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
 Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
 antidepressants were.

 10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly h umming
 the Mission Impossible' theme.

 11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
 using different size funnels.

 12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
 yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

 13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
 assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices
 again.'

 And; last, but not least:

 14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
 while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'